THE LOST ART OF RELATIONSHIP
be the highest tower to win the prize. They also were not afraid to try different things to get the tower higher by using prototypes.
There is something to this…
So often the leader of a group gets the “glory” or the “credit” for the completed goal or the ongoing success. Don’t get me wrong. It takes creative, inspirational leadership to keep a team moving in the right direction, but that is only one part of the structure. The entire structure needs to be built in such a way that the team can withstand its own weight (all of the personalities on the team), a strong wind (pressures from outside influences, unforeseen setbacks to the goal, people leaving the team, new people coming on), and the furniture that we put inside (the systems and processes we put in place to set the scene when we work together).
The point is this—relationships are only as strong as the structure it is built upon.
When relationships are healthy, mutual respect is shown. When each person works according to his or her strengths and complements the weaknesses of others, harmony happens. That harmony creates the environment by which people can work toward a common goal and not worry about who rises to the top or who takes the lead. It is an environment where people understand the integrity of the team is necessary and needs to be protected.
Are there perfect relationships? Absolutely… not! However, some relation- ships can withstand the test of time, adversity, and emotion.
Why? Because of the “Principle of Structural Integrity”—that is, the ability to hold something together under its own weight and whatever load is placed in or on it. Instead of spaghetti, tape, and string though, we use trust, vulnerability, love, hope, support, respect, honesty, forgiveness, gratitude, good communication, connection, purpose, authenticity, and a host of others things as the relational building blocks for long-lasting relationships.
These lifetime relationships are the kind that the Great Architect, God Himself, intends for us to have. His purpose in creating us is to be in a relation- ship with us and us with each other. If you desire a strong, structurally-sound relationship with anyone, it has to be built using these characteristics so that it can hold together and withstand whatever load is placed upon it, whether externally or emotionally.
If we build our relationships and teams on ego, misunderstandings, miscommunication, pride, or position, they will not have the healthy founda- tion necessary to continue through the challenges that will inevitably ensue.
I mentioned the idea of using prototypes for the Marshmallow Challenge